Is Rob Ford Losing His Nation?

November 2, 2013 § Leave a comment

TRTN, NOV 1, 2013, Mockery-1

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s popularity amongst voters is sinking fast in light of recent confirmation of the existence of a video depicting the Mayor smoking crack .  Even Ford’s die hard supporters the ‘Ford Nation’ have given up.  Luckily he still has the support of ‘Ford Nathan’, a 96 year old man who doesn’t have the internet and only checks the news about once every 4 years.

TRTN, NOV 1, 2013, Mockery-2

Harper Vetos Bridge Regulations

November 5, 2012 § Leave a comment

bridge regulations are so fascist.

In an effort to increase trade, Stephen Harper will exempt any company that wants to build a new Windsor to Detroit bridge from all environmental regulations. This is of course great news for Shitty Eddies Bridge Company who constructs their bridges out of rusty paint cans and plastic six pack rings.

avoid crossing.

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Canada. Not So Competitive.

September 13, 2012 § Leave a comment

Canada. Not so competitive

According to a new report Canada has slipped two places in Global Competitiveness Rankings. Canada has responded saying,  “this game is stupid anyway!”

“Yea, well. Who cares!”

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Amnesty International Hates Us

May 30, 2012 § Leave a comment

“Let us agree to be dickheads”

Canada has been cited by Amnesty International in its annual report on human rights atrocities for its failure to arrest George Bush while he was on Canadian soil.   Amnesty says it is willing to forgive Canada this ‘over sight’ in exchange for the arrest of  American refugee and war criminal, Randy Quaid.                                                                            

Where, oh where did the 90’s go?

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Abortion Is A Hot Topic For Canadians

May 10, 2012 § Leave a comment

Woodsworth knows women.

Conservative MP Stephen Woodworth tried to bring back the abortion debate to no avail.  He claims, the 400 year old common law that human beings are created at birth is archaic.  Pro life activists say that a baby is a human being upon conception; while Pro Choice activists maintain that that one should still be able to abort the fetus at any age, if the fetus turns out to be a Conservative.

Pro Choice for Always!

Students Want Their Chips And Pop

May 8, 2012 § Leave a comment

chips and pop ftw!

Brampton High School students are pro-choice when it comes to the type of foods they want in their cafeterias.  The government has adopted a food and beverage policy which has taken fatty and high sugar foods off the menu in high schools.  In their place are foods like baked fries and Diet Coke.   To show the public how they feel, the students have produced a ‘slick’ video and published it to Youtube.

Unfortunately, the government has no intention of putting unhealthy foods back on the menu.  It’s a gentle way of preparing high school kids for a world where you think you have choice but really all you have is a shitty connection from Rogers.

choice is a necessary illusion

Harper was not available to comment on this story as he was too busy choosing what colour to paint his penis…I mean fighter jets.

“can we paint one pink for my wife?”

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The Mayor Who Cried Wolf.

May 3, 2012 § Leave a comment

the Robfather has spoken.

Looks like Toronto Mayor Rob Ford had to call the cops again and he’s not too happy about it.  Ford is requesting that journalist, Daniel Dale be fired from his position at The Toronto Star after an altercation near his home.  Ford confronted the reporter after a neighbour alerted him that there was someone near his property.  Ford somehow managed to scare Dale enough that he gave him his cell phone and camera.  It turned out that Dale was pursuing a story about the mayor looking to buy public property beside his home.

The mayor feels he needs all this property to ‘protect’ his family.  During an interview with local media, Ford continuously says that the property in question is a “football field” away.  Wait a minute…Ford needs more than a football field of land to keep his kids safe?  Are people constantly throwing grenades at him?   If the Mayor is afraid of some skinny reporter, investigating a story, perhaps he should just buy the entire GTA.  Almost everyone in Toronto has a camera.  He couldn’t possibly confiscate them all…or could he?

It seems that Mayor Ford wants to keep Toronto out of his backyard. And increasingly, Toronto wants Ford out of theirs.

In related news.  Ford called Prime Minister Harper right after this terrifying run in with death and requested he be given an F35 fighter jet to spot roving reporters. Harper agreed right away.  It seems they agree that there is nothing more terrifying than someone who might not agree with your politics.

we must protect Ford from the commies!

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