Ferris Wheel Of Terror

October 12, 2012 § Leave a comment

don’t leave me hangin’ bro

20 funseekers were trapped for hours atop a 300 foot tall amusement park ride.  The owners of the ‘Windseeker’ apologize for the malfunction but maintain that this is an isolated event as what usually happens during a malfunction is that people simply plummet to their death.

oh what fun it is to die…

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Child-Free Flights Take Off

September 29, 2012 § Leave a comment

miles high and no kiddies

AirAsia has created a Child-Free ‘Quiet Zone’ on all their flights. One passenger was quoted as saying “finally i can jerk off under a thin blanket without listening to that shitty baby cry.”

masturbate in peace

Romney Not Popular Amongst Tweens

September 29, 2012 § Leave a comment

Mitt ain’t what we need

A 12 year boy has written a letter to Republican Presidential nominee Mitt Romney, saying that if he’s elected he would be bad for America. Romney has responded by going to the boys school at lunch, holding him on the ground, cutting his hair off and calling him a fag.  

Mitt loves an easy target.

Father’s Not Welcome At Dances

September 25, 2012 § Leave a comment

Don’t step on my toes!

Rhode Island schools have banned Father Daughter dances. The ban was put in place, after they caught several fathers in the woods chugging cake flavoured vodka and discussing which daughters were the hottest.

My puke tastes like cake!

Plush Toys: More Itchy Than Fun

September 18, 2012 § Leave a comment

No Child Should Go Without

Peter Drakos of Detroit has spent the last 30 years winning over 250,000 prizes at hundreds of different midways and carnivals. He then gives the all toys to Charity. Though his plan was well intentioned, none of charities would accept the toys as they were heavily infested with carney fleas.

why is the fur crawling?

Stopping Abortion With Deadly Force

September 9, 2012 § Leave a comment

“I’ll stop those damn abortionists”

GOP Candidate for Sheriff Frank Szabo says he’s so pro life that he’ll stop abortion with deadly force. He also says that he’s so pro feeding the poor that he often hunts them down and donates their meat to soup kitchens.

mmm delicious hobo meat

Mrs. Romney Loves Horseplay

September 9, 2012 § Leave a comment

The Romney’s Slummed it at Harvard

The Presidential candidates wives opened up this week as they addressed the American public and shared pieces of their own private lives.   Michelle Obama shared that she loves spending time gardening while Anne Romney revealed her love of the intimate horse and rider sport: dressage.  

Horseplay of the Elite

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