September 9, 2012 §
39 beached dolphins in Boston’s Cape Cod are safe this week after returning to the ocean with the tide. Beachgoers say that they are relieved because nothing spoils family fun day like a bunch of dolphin carcasses.
dead dolphins ruining vacations
Now that the dolphins are back to sea, everyone can now get back to working on their tans and ignoring armageddon.
June 4, 2012 §
the fallout continues…
Scientists are reporting that the bluefin tuna in California waters are carrying radioactive contamination that leaked from Japan’s crippled nuclear plant during last year’s earthquake. Officials became concerned after several tuna developed abs and a penchant for violence. This is unfortunate because abs are the most delicious part of the tuna and now they are very hard to acquire.
June 2, 2012 §
these findings suck
A new study shows that cancer rates are set to skyrocket by %75 by the year 2030. Monsanto is calling these horrific new findings, “the plan”.