Up Your Nose With Female Viagra

November 5, 2012 § Leave a comment

the nose knows

A new nasal spray for women that enhances sexual arousal is being marketed as the female viagra.  The nasal spray is designed to chemically simulate the erotic sensation of snorting 2 lines of coke in a disgusting bathroom stall.

some may prefer tradition

Red Bull Gets You Higher

October 19, 2012 § Leave a comment

go for a bull ride

Last Sunday Felix Baumgartner jumped out of a space capsule from above the stratosphere over the New Mexico desert. Red Bull sponsored the event to promote their new energy drink that makes your heart feel like you have jumped out of a space capsule from above the stratosphere over the New Mexico desert.

red bull grabs YOU by the horns

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Baumgartner Breaks Records and Hearts

October 19, 2012 § Leave a comment

what went through his mind?

The world was anxious to know what went through handsome Felix Baumgartner’s mind while attempting this heroic jump.  The world stopped anxiously listening after he mentioned his stupid girlfriend.

girlfriend smirlfriend

Toronto Strip Clubs Amend Touchy Laws

October 18, 2012 § Leave a comment

some touching allowed!

Council has loosened the rules on Toronto strip clubs which, formerly were strictly no touching, to allow handshakes.  While this may seem mundane to some but there some men who are very happy to hear the news because they have dicks for hands.

high five!

Child free Flights of Bliss

October 12, 2012 § Leave a comment

adults only, call now

AirAsia has created a Child-Free ‘Quiet Zone’ on all their flights. One passenger was quoted as saying “finally i can jerk off under a thin blanket without listening to that shitty baby cry.”

blanket hides shame and cleans it up

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Vegetarian McDonalds McMania

September 9, 2012 § Leave a comment

Healthy Trans Fats!

Mcdonald’s has announced that in 2013 they will be opening their first vegetarian restaurant in India.  Though many see this as a win for vegetarians, Mcdonald’s says they’ll only be serving vegetables that North American customers scrape off their Big Mac’s.

McWestern Scraps!

Breastaurant Business Is Booming

July 8, 2012 § Leave a comment

The wife will love it!

Restaurants featuring large breasted female servers are fast becoming a huge hit in NYC.   These “Breastaurants” are even more popular than it’s cousin, the “Dickbuffet” which became famous for its freaky method of stirring the Aritchoke dip.

Creamy and delicious!

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