Cleric Smacked Down By Woman

October 12, 2012 § Leave a comment

“Oh no, you didn’t.”

A cleric in Iran was badly beaten by a women that he was condemning for being badly beaten.  As it turns out a woman’s ankles are not as offensive as her angry fists.

smack that cleric up

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Vegetarian McDonalds McMania

September 9, 2012 § Leave a comment

Healthy Trans Fats!

Mcdonald’s has announced that in 2013 they will be opening their first vegetarian restaurant in India.  Though many see this as a win for vegetarians, Mcdonald’s says they’ll only be serving vegetables that North American customers scrape off their Big Mac’s.

McWestern Scraps!

Life Imitates Disney

June 4, 2012 § Leave a comment

it’s a miracle

Swiss scientists have discovered a way to make paralyzed rats walk again. In related news: apparently rats can walk on their hind legs,  just like the prophecy fortold us in Fivel Goes West.

Disney told us it would be like this

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Israeli Scientists Are Buzzkillers

June 2, 2012 § Leave a comment

I’m no longer in love with Mary Jane

Researchers in Israel have developed a marijuana plant that has all the benefits of marijuana but doesn’t get you high.  The researchers will now focus on developing ways to have sex without the hindrance of having an orgasm.

finding the cure to orgasms

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Amnesty International Hates Us

May 30, 2012 § Leave a comment

“Let us agree to be dickheads”

Canada has been cited by Amnesty International in its annual report on human rights atrocities for its failure to arrest George Bush while he was on Canadian soil.   Amnesty says it is willing to forgive Canada this ‘over sight’ in exchange for the arrest of  American refugee and war criminal, Randy Quaid.                                                                            

Where, oh where did the 90’s go?

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Nude Protesters Don’t Get It

May 5, 2012 § Leave a comment

“Tout nu dehors, jusqu’a la victoire,”

The Montreal student protests just got a a little more exciting as they began their ‘naked’ protest today.  Chanting, what translates to: “naked outside until victory,” the students protest the proposed tuition hike.

The Quebec government says that they remain firm that tuition hikes must be looked at and that they remain firm.  One official suggested that they would consider what the students had to say a little more seriously if they began having a really hot orgy protest in the streets. 

the best protest is the kind where everyone is fucking

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Batman Lives!…For Now.

April 29, 2012 § Leave a comment

just a human in tights.

In foreign superhero news, A Batman impersonator in Brazil has been hired to patrol a dangerous, crime-ridden town. Local drug lords say this will be the most enjoyable murder in years.

oh, this is gonna be fun.

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