Is Rob Ford Losing His Nation?

November 2, 2013 § Leave a comment

TRTN, NOV 1, 2013, Mockery-1

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s popularity amongst voters is sinking fast in light of recent confirmation of the existence of a video depicting the Mayor smoking crack .  Even Ford’s die hard supporters the ‘Ford Nation’ have given up.  Luckily he still has the support of ‘Ford Nathan’, a 96 year old man who doesn’t have the internet and only checks the news about once every 4 years.

TRTN, NOV 1, 2013, Mockery-2

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Safety is Sexy

October 19, 2012 § Leave a comment

buckle up buttercup

A new study proves that cyclists are three times more likely to have a fatal injury while not wearing a helmet.  Many young cyclists still refuse to wear a helmet because they believe that  “this is yet another ploy by the media to try to stop us from looking hot on our bikes.”

who puts a helmet on sex?

Racist Fast Food

September 9, 2012 § Leave a comment

Holy Chuck, that’s racist!

A popular Toronto eatery has pulled the ‘dirty drunken half breed’ burger from their menu after angry patrons protested the racist innuendo.  The owners of Holy Chuck restaurant claim that they were only trying to compete with other racist fast food items such as Burger King’s Whopper…

Hamburgers aren’t even Italian.

And of course, the kids are crazy for, the McDonald’s McHitler sundae.

Offensive, but delicious

‘Bath Salts’ Get Dirty Reputation

June 28, 2012 § Leave a comment

street drugs do NOT leave your skin silky smooth

Toronto beauty retailers are enjoying a spark in sales due to the recent media attention of bath salts.   Though shop owners are happy with all the new business, some do feel guilty watching people perform disgusting sex acts in the parking lot just to buy their luxurious products.

‘The Body Shop’ now has a sketchier clientele

A Balkan-Klezmer-Gypsy-Party-Punk Super-Band Boards A Plane…

May 18, 2012 § Leave a comment

best delayed flight ever

A delayed Air Canada flight to Frankfurt was pleasantly surprised by an impromptu, in-flight serenade from the Lemon Bucket Orkestra at Toronto’s Pearson Airport.  Air Canada was so delighted that passengers were happy, they decided to make the group an offer to appear on all flights to Frankfurt.  Unfortunately the deal didn’t work out after Air Canada found out that they would actually have to pay the band.

“We’ve never heard of Canadian artists actually charging a fee for anything.” A confused spokesperson for Air Canada told the media.

It’s Balkan-Klezmer-Gypsy-Party-Punk Super-Band Fun Times!

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The Mayor Who Cried Wolf.

May 3, 2012 § Leave a comment

the Robfather has spoken.

Looks like Toronto Mayor Rob Ford had to call the cops again and he’s not too happy about it.  Ford is requesting that journalist, Daniel Dale be fired from his position at The Toronto Star after an altercation near his home.  Ford confronted the reporter after a neighbour alerted him that there was someone near his property.  Ford somehow managed to scare Dale enough that he gave him his cell phone and camera.  It turned out that Dale was pursuing a story about the mayor looking to buy public property beside his home.

The mayor feels he needs all this property to ‘protect’ his family.  During an interview with local media, Ford continuously says that the property in question is a “football field” away.  Wait a minute…Ford needs more than a football field of land to keep his kids safe?  Are people constantly throwing grenades at him?   If the Mayor is afraid of some skinny reporter, investigating a story, perhaps he should just buy the entire GTA.  Almost everyone in Toronto has a camera.  He couldn’t possibly confiscate them all…or could he?

It seems that Mayor Ford wants to keep Toronto out of his backyard. And increasingly, Toronto wants Ford out of theirs.

In related news.  Ford called Prime Minister Harper right after this terrifying run in with death and requested he be given an F35 fighter jet to spot roving reporters. Harper agreed right away.  It seems they agree that there is nothing more terrifying than someone who might not agree with your politics.

we must protect Ford from the commies!

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Ford Brothers Fighting a War.

May 1, 2012 § Leave a comment

Ford Brothers Fighting a War..

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