Child-Free Flights Take Off

September 29, 2012 § Leave a comment

miles high and no kiddies

AirAsia has created a Child-Free ‘Quiet Zone’ on all their flights. One passenger was quoted as saying “finally i can jerk off under a thin blanket without listening to that shitty baby cry.”

masturbate in peace

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Romney Not Popular Amongst Tweens

September 29, 2012 § Leave a comment

Mitt ain’t what we need

A 12 year boy has written a letter to Republican Presidential nominee Mitt Romney, saying that if he’s elected he would be bad for America. Romney has responded by going to the boys school at lunch, holding him on the ground, cutting his hair off and calling him a fag.  

Mitt loves an easy target.

Father’s Not Welcome At Dances

September 25, 2012 § Leave a comment

Don’t step on my toes!

Rhode Island schools have banned Father Daughter dances. The ban was put in place, after they caught several fathers in the woods chugging cake flavoured vodka and discussing which daughters were the hottest.

My puke tastes like cake!

Breastaurant Business Is Booming

July 8, 2012 § Leave a comment

The wife will love it!

Restaurants featuring large breasted female servers are fast becoming a huge hit in NYC.   These “Breastaurants” are even more popular than it’s cousin, the “Dickbuffet” which became famous for its freaky method of stirring the Aritchoke dip.

Creamy and delicious!

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Transgendered Beauty Contestant

May 16, 2012 § Leave a comment

hotter than your wife

In looks based competition news, Jenna Talackova a transgendered woman who was born a man, will be competing this weekend for the Miss Universe crown.  Allowing Jenna to compete has opened the doors for other transgendered contestants and induced millions of confused boners.  

we all would hit it.

Where Is The Horniest City of All?

May 5, 2012 § Leave a comment

sex is a priority

In sexytime news this week, a recent study shows that people of Los Angeles value sex more than anywhere in the World.  Unfortunately for those people, no one values sex more than Herpes.   
The study also showed that the runner up city is where ever you are.  You horny bastard.

Paris is burning

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Unconventional Beauty Contestant

April 15, 2012 § Leave a comment

He's Hotter Than Your Wife

In looks based competition news, Jenna Talackova a transgendered woman who was born a man, has now been OK’d to compete in the Miss Universe competition.
Allowing Jenna to compete has opened the doors for other transgendered contestants and induced millions of confused boners.

we all would hit it.

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